By Ian Murphy (Who else would it be by?)

I know, I know. The record just scratched…easy listening? Yes, easy listening. Somewhere in the gigundo haystack of cheesiness (in between anything by Bread, and Michael Franks’ “Monkey See, Monkey Do”) are more than a few golden needles. Some of pop’s best songs and performances have come from artists who at first listen, you’d think they would fail a cup-check. Do you think for a minute that guitar and songwriting maestro Stephen Stills has no cojones for dipping into the soft rock pool? Wrong! If you separate yourself from the schmaltz of these laid back gems and dig a little bit, you could see how great they really are.

So, what actually constitutes “Easy Listening?” For me, it could be a song that tends toward the sentimental and doesn’t jar you with the volume and energy of your typical rock song. To tag “Easy Listening” in a negative light does not do the genre any justice. Although the heyday of that style was in the mid to late 1970s (back then it was easy being cheesy!), really any song before or since that tugs on your heart strings a bit or makes you think of someone you love can be considered easy listening.

The below list is a compilation of my favorite not-so rockin’ tunes that I love unconditionally, even though a few could be considered guilty pleasures. The point is, if you like something that isn’t cool, it’s OK, embrace the cheese. It is not a damnable offense to enjoy the silky smooth soul of Kenny Loggins or admit you dig Neil Diamond. I’ll preface this list with my usual modesty: my muzak is MUCH better than yours, so if you get a little nauseous from the corn-scented aroma emanating from your computer, too bad!

Top Ten Easy Listening Tunes:

10. Paul Davis: “I Go Crazy” (1977). In this classic soft rock tune from the late 1970s, Paul Davis hits the heart strings hard with his lament to lost love. This is a staple from those late night CD compilations called “Tides of Romance” (or something equally ridiculous) starring Eddie Rabbit or Tony Orlando. Despite its inclusion on said compilations, “I Go Crazy” is actually a really well written song and Davis is sufficiently reflective in getting his point across.

9. Daryl Hall & John Oates: “One on One” (1983). Lyrically about the game of love, Daryl Hall likens the participants to athletes on a playing field in this early 1980s classic. Hall & Oates have a treasure trove of amazing material, but this is probably my favorite Daryl Hall performance. Hall is incredible here and his vocal chops are arguably at their peak.

8. Gary Wright: “Dream Weaver” (1976). Yes, this one has the hoaky 1970s effects all over it, but actually this is one reason why this song is very unique. It was among the first songs to be completely done without “organic” instruments, as the whole recording is performed via synthesizers. “Dream Weaver” was nearly a #1 smash in 1976. Great song. Don’t judge.

7. Gordon Lightfoot: “Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” (1976). This is a great tune by balladeer par excellence Gordon Lightfoot. Gord really wrote a good one here, and it struck a chord when it came out as he was inspired by the recent sinking of the SS Edmund Fitzgerald in Lake Superior. Lightfoot considers this his best work, and I am not arguing with that assessment.

6. Benny Mardones: “Into The Night” (1980). The cheese in this song seems to have at least a nine year shelf life, being a top hit both in 1980 and 1989. With Mardones’ gruff, but emotive voice, you’d think KISS drummer Peter Criss was entering the Easy Listening ranks! Still, this is a classic pop song with some monstrous hooks. Guilty pleasure? Maybe. Great song? Absolutely.

5. Neil Diamond: “Girl, You’ll be a Woman Soon” (1967). Really, you could fill all ten slots on this list with Neil Diamond songs, but if I had to choose only one, I’d choose this one. A Top Ten hit for the Jewish Elvis (a well earned moniker, mind you), and covered in 1994 by Urge Overkill, this is one of the most romantic songs of all time. The mood and instrumentation are awesome and Neil hits a home run with his performance. A true pop masterpiece.

4. Carly Simon: “That’s The Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be” (1971). A domestic nightmare disguised in a quiet and reflective song, Simon echoes the fear that people have when they have to “grow up” and conform to societal standards. This piece is highlighted by Simon’s killer vocal dynamics, from the quiet, submissive verses to the defiant chorus. One of Simon’s top songs, and she is in great form here.

3. Crosby, Stills & Nash: Just A Song Before I Go” (1977). This is a Graham Nash tune about a bet he had with a friend on whether he could craft a killer song in the half-hour he had to spare while waiting for a ride to the airport. Nash took the bait and wrote a classic cautionary tale about the high life of rock stars. The harmonies are otherworldly and Stills punctuates it with a tasty guitar solo.

2. Elton John: “Someone Saved My Life Tonight” (1975). This is Sir Elton at his absolute best. His vocals are pleading and emotional, as Bernie Taupin’s lyrics touched on a time in Elton’s life (before he became famous) where he was involved in an unhappy engagement to a woman who was unsupportive of his music. He was encouraged to follow his dream by close friend Long John Baldry, who is affectionately referred to as “Sugar Bear” in the song. Without this intervention by his close friends, Sir Elton might not be here today.

1. The Cranberries: “Linger” (1993). This is my absolute favorite soft and melodic song, bar none, and it has been since I was 11 years old. Vocalist Dolores O’Riordan is nothing short of brilliant in her performance. She grabs you instantly with her enchanting opening vocal and holds the listener spellbound for the remainder of the track. The subtle background melodies are stunning in their beauty and the song on a whole is simply perfect in its attempt to convey O’Riordan’s wistful reminiscence of her first love.
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*Note: In all my “Best Of” compilations I try to keep the selection from being too concentrated in any one era. With this one it was tough, because the sheer volume of quality queso coming out in the mid 1970s is impossible to ignore.

Honorable mention: Anything by Englebert Humperdink because, you know, his name is ENGLBERT HUMPERDINCK! Or was is Zanglebert Bingledack? Or maybe Winglebert Humptyback? To quote Eddie Izzard (in regards to picking a new moniker for the blandly named Jerry Dorsey): “I would have loved to be in the room when they worked that one though!” It doesn’t matter, as Ol’ Humpy was an original King of Cheese, and damn good at what he did! Wait, maybe his name was Slut Bunwalla?