By Dave Siderski

A number of years ago a man by the name of Richard Carlson Ph.D. wrote a popular book called: “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff”. Great concept! Ultimately, there are very few things in life that are truly worth getting upset about when you stop and think about it. However, if you’re like me, you’ll appreciate that sometimes this is much easier said than done. That said, here are 10 day to day irritations that send me completely off the rails. I’ve edited out most of the salty language so that I don’t get in trouble with “Bad” Brad my Publisher. (lol)

10. Give me a #7, a #19, three #42s, four #78s, a #134, and a Pu Pu Platter on the Side: Scratch tickets can actually be fun at times but I gave up buying them because I never won anything. In the old days, there were a selection of maybe 2 or 3 you could buy. Now I go to the store and there are literally 150 of them lined up along the back wall. Inevitably, when I stop in the morning, there is a scratch ticket fiend ahead of me in line, ordering a laundry list and scratching them off at the counter. Then he, or she, wins a $10 prize, after spending about $150, and wants to redeem that for 10 more tickets. Now, I’m really running late for the 9am meeting I have with my boss. All I wanted when I stopped here was a cup of tea and a protein bar. UGGH!!!!!

9. Do you have your rewards card with you?: Seemingly everywhere you go whether it’s the pharmacy, or the supermarket, or the department store, I always get asked the same question: “Do you have your frequent shopper rewards cards with you”. NO. I DON’T! The problem with these cards is that I can’t figure out what rewards they’re actually offering. Buy a $1,000 worth of groceries from us and get 1% of your next purchase or a free toaster. Forgive me for not getting too excited. Thanks anyway but I already have a toaster and my next purchase from you is probably the $10 pre-made meal I pick up on the way home because I don’t feel like cooking tonight. Please just ring me up and stop with the sales pitch!

8. Beware the Angry Flock: Honestly, I love animals. I’m the guy who refuses to kill bugs and spiders. They’re creatures of nature doing their thing. If they don’t bother me, I’m not going to bother them. That said, I can’t stand geese! All they do is poop on your lawn and tie up traffic. The other day I was on my way home after a long day of work and a flock of about 50 of them are crossing the street. Of course they take their sweet assed time, just strutting along ponderously as if to say: “Screw you!” Ten minutes later, I’m still sitting there! UGGH!

7. Construction Ahead. Proceed with Caution!: Even those of you who aren’t from Massachusetts, have probably heard of the financial abyss that was the “Big Dig”. Hopefully, that gives you an appreciation of the road conditions around here. There’s a bridge along my route to work that’s been under construction for the past five years. It creates a traffic boondoggle each and every morning. After five years, I still can’t figure out what the hell they’re doing. All, I see rocks dug up and moved from one side of the street to the other over and over again. Other than that, the bridge looks the exact same as it did five years ago. Is this where my tax dollars are going?

6. Hey Lance Armstrong! Get to the Side of the Road! I enjoy riding a bicycle and would like to get one myself. Its great exercise and I get why people enjoy it. But why do you need to do it on the busiest streets in the middle of rush hour? Last week, I encounter one of these bicyclists riding about at about 10 MPH in the middle of the street. He’s listening to his I-pod and is completely oblivious to the surroundings. I’m behind him for a good 30 seconds and starting to get really pissed! Finally, I give a light toot of the horn. The guy flips me the bird! Dude, please! I’m in 3,500 lbs. automobile and you’re on a bike that weighs, what, maybe 30! Who do you think is going to win that battle? Seriously fool! Shut up and move over!

5. Creeping Moe and the Zig Zagger Crew: For those of you who are extra cautious on the highway, I commend you. Where the hell are we all going in such a hurry anyway? But do you really have to drive 50 mph in the passing lane? The passing lane is called that for a reason. Please! Slow drivers stay to the right, faster drivers to the left. That’s how the system is supposed to work.
Along that same line, I was in the middle lane on the highway the other day when this guy in a jacked up pickup trunk cuts across from the far left lane to the far right lane in one harrowing maneuver, damn near side swiping me in the process. Then he speeds up again and reverses the maneuver, cutting from the far right to the far left lane, again in one maneuver. Where are the cops when you need them? If you want to drive really fast, that’s ok, but stay in your lane! The system works when we adhere to that.

4. The Honker Tonkers and Rear Riders Gang. Folks, I’m known to give an occasional toot on my car horn as well but some of you seriously need to take a chill pill. I can only go as fast as the car in front of me and if we’re stuck in bumper to bumper traffic there is absolutely nothing I can do to get you where you want to go any faster. Like the old saying goes, at least buy me dinner first before you get that close to my rear end. I’m sorry if 40 in a 30 MPH zone hour isn’t fast enough for you but it’s not worth risking my safety!

3. Stop Chasing the Ambulances Please! Tell me if this sounds familiar. A commercial comes on during your favorite TV show: “Were you prescribed the drug Lisnopramazide? Do you suffer from hemorrhoids, athlete’s foot, jock itch, herpes simplex 42, ear aches, sore butt, or uncontrollable urges to bark like a dog in public? Are you dead? Yes, even if you’re dead, we can help you get the money you deserve, call the law firm of Leopold, Loeb, Harry, Larry, Barry, Huey, Louie, Duey, and Old Yeller, PC. Call us today at 1-800-SUE-THEM!” Hey, Tom Brady, I think you really need to call these guys!

2. Please Stop Replying to All! I’m not sure if I’m more amused or angered by this one. For those of you who work for a large company, you’ll appreciate this. I am on numerous distribution lists 95% of which have absolutely nothing to do with my job. Invariably, someone will commit the cardinal sin of replying to all to one of these. A sinister chain of events has now been unleashed which will lead to the catastrophic end to the universe.

Next comes a series of angry emails from people who probably got their asses chewed by the boss earlier in the day. “Replying to all”, they chastise the original transgressor. Folks seriously, have you ever heard of the “delete” button. Now it only gets worse. At least two or three people will also violate the dreaded “Reply to all” rule which unleashes an avalanche of even more incendiary emails. The next time this happens, I’m gonna start an office pool: “Guess the number of stupid emails that come from this thread and I’ll give you my rewards card to the local supermarket.” Someone out there must need a free toaster. The last time we ended up with 107. No, I’m not exaggerating!

1. Your Password is incorrect. I really hate passwords. It seems like we need one for everything these days. There’s one for the house; another for the car; then a bunch of others for things like email, voicemail, Facebook, my website, online banking, and so on. I’m just glad we don’t need one for the john. At least not yet! It really gets out of control at work. Now there’s not only the computer, email, and voice mail passwords, but another 50 or so more to get into the litany of different systems we have. And, if you’re job searching, forget it. Every company web-site or job search engine has its own password. I try to keep them the same or similar but then they throw in the stuff like: “Between 13 and 16 characters with two Uppercase, four Lower Case, two numbers, one wildcard character, and an order of Egg Foo Yung on the side. Then we get to the “Prove You’re Not a Robot Screen”. Tell me if you can read this: “tghthhu 0001”.

I could probably come up with about 50 of these if I really stopped and thought about it for long enough. In the big picture, these are just minor nuisances that aren’t worth getting worked up over yet I still do. I guess I haven’t quite mastered that “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” skill just yet. Oh well!

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