By Dave Siderski

America is all about freedom. Our forefathers fought for the right that we all have to life, liberty and the pursuit of the all mighty dollar. Yes my friends, as one of our great American heroes, Gordon Gekko, once told us greed is truly good. We are a melting pot and it is truly our diversity and singleness of mind and purpose that truly makes us strong. In my America, I will support the right of every Americans to freely express and pursue his or her dreams, ideas and viewpoints. Unless those ideas and viewpoints are subversive and incendiary.

I will have no tolerance for subversive ideas in my administration. Those that do not share my vision and do not conform to it will be dealt with swiftly and expeditiously. I will build the mightiest shuttle the world has ever seen, which Canada will pay for, and will exile these seditious traitors to the Arctic Tundra or perhaps Greenland. My administration will be all about America for loyal Americans only. Did I mention I would expedite this in expeditious fashion? This is my vision for America and with your help we can accomplish it. Vote for me in 2016!

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