By Misty Beck

On November 8, 2016, I woke up feeling jazzed and I had tons of pep in my step. I bounced around my bathroom listening to the election coverage from the television in my bedroom. The anchors were cheery as well. I had CNN on, although I had made it a habit to switch between Fox News and CNN over the past few weeks. I did this to get both sides of the election. If you watch CNN you’re getting a more liberal and in my opinion accurate yet a bit biased reporting. Fox is always biased, they usually had different polling numbers then other stations and the anchors were pretty much pro Trump with the exception of Megyn Kelley who I actually grew to admire, especially after she went head to head with Newt Gingrich. I found his verbal assault on her appalling. To hear him say she was fascinated with sex gave me the heebie-jeebies. He appeared to be fascinated with her until she tried to discuss our now President (Elect) Trump’s leaked Access Hollywood tape.

Well, I was in such high spirit because I was heading to my polling place before driving to work. I was prepared to vote for what I believed to be an historical event for this country, the first woman would be elected President of the United States! It was a great day! I left my house at 7am on the dot and arrived at the park where I would be casting my vote in less than 5 minutes.

There was a small line that had formed, but nothing like what I was watching on the news where states like Florida, South Carolina, Massachusetts, New York, Louisiana, and Michigan had up to an hour and a half wait. In some cases, even longer than that. I was relieved this was going well so far. Shit the whole day was going great so far. I joined the small line and instantly started a conversation with a familiar face of an older black gentleman who has lived next door to my mom’s house for over 30 years.

I playfully asked “So you’re voting for Trump right?” He replied with a smirk “yeah you know me I’m his African American he shouted out to at his rally a few months ago” we both exploded in laughter. Obviously, this man who may be in his mid 70’s and a retired parole officer was not intending to vote for Trump, he was there to be a part of history…wonderful history electing our candidate, Hillary Clinton. He told me that he was so pleased to be witnessing this kind of transformation of America. We spoke about the day Obama was elected some 8 years earlier and how much that meant to us not just because we are minorities, but because we are Americans and that was an amazing moment in American history to have a Black man given the opportunity to run for office and then win.

It was a delightful discussion and before I knew it I was giving my name and address to a sweet woman sitting at a table with a huge smile on her face. I knew that smile was because of Hillary Clinton and this historical day. Surely this woman was just as confident as I was that she was sure to win this election. My vote being a Californian was not “the vote” needed all around the country for this to actually become a reality, but it was for me and more than likely her a chance to be a part of history.
You all know how this actually turned out. Donald J. Trump pulled off what I and half of the USA didn’t think he could. I watched my American dream of witnessing the attesting that women are truly equal in this country die right before my eyes. I was cringing as each state went red. My anger was boiling and I started thinking this country would rather have a man who I believe is a racist, misogynist possibly mentally ill babbling idiot run this country rather than a woman.

What kind of country is America? I was hurt and disappointed. I don’t think I’ve been this disappointed in any other life event in a long time. I cried a lot. I did, I sat on my couch and tears rolled down my face like a five year old on their way to the dentist. I recalled a conversation I had with my dear mother a couple of months after Obama was elected. I said to her “I hope we will see a woman in the White House some day too”.

I almost said I instead of we because in my heart I knew she probably wouldn’t live through Obama’s second term, but I wanted her to see how it was possible, we were certainly grazing in happiness over our Black President (Elect) why not bring up the notion of this possibility? My mom…boy that woman was brazen, at times she had a little Trump in her…she would probably whip my butt if she were alive and I referred to her as Trump on any level. Anyway, she lit a cigarette and looked at me and declared “This God damn country aint never gonna elect a woman as President. It damn sure aint gonna happen in my lifetime and you’re out of your mind if you believe it will in yours. This country still under pays women and expects us to stay in our place… underneath them, that’s in bed and business”!

Man, hearing that conversation replay while the realization of Trump winning sent me into total a meltdown. You know my mother was on point about just about everything she told me. I thought for once… momma, why did you have to be right?

In closing, and three days since election day I have to admit that I’m dealing with this election much better than a couple of days ago. Maybe because I just don’t like having the negative energy and thoughts consuming me. Possibly because I have no choice but to accept it. Whatever the case is, the people have spoken, I may not be one of them, but I am an American and I believe in Democracy.

I also watched the clip from Obama and Trump meeting at the White House yesterday and I wasn’t sure what it was, but I saw something in Trump that was very different about him. He was less aggressive and actually docile, he even said Obama was a “a very good man” and he looked sincere. What does that mean? Well, I don’t know people, but he seemed like he learned some deep shit during their meeting maybe Obama showed him footage of us killing Bin Laden or perhaps the proof that there’s aliens who visit the Earth. Whatever the case may be I’m hoping and praying that this country survives a Trump Presidency. Look I’m with Obama I hope he does well, him doing well means we will do well. I survived 8 years of baby Bush so I think I’ll be okay with President (Elect) Trump. Keep the faith folks, and hold on this is going to be a wild ride.

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