By Jen Loehr

I grew up the daughter of 2 amazing teachers. One of the teachers, my dad, was also a High School Football Coach for my entire life until he retired. So, not only did I grow up with underpaid and underappreciated teachers…I was also the child of an underpaid and many times unappreciated coach. Not only did my dad coach football, he also coached basketball in the winter and then either track, golf, or baseball in the spring to supplement our family income.

As a child I grew up on the football field, basketball court, etc. so I could hang out with my dad. It didn’t matter that I was a girl because I was a total tomboy! During those days as a child I never sat in the stands long enough to hear anyone talk bad about my dad or the other coaches who were also my dad’s. You see the football coaching staff my dad was a part of, was together for a good 30 years so our families were very tight knit and actually still are. During my junior high and high school years I was too busy socializing or being on the field as a football manager to hear those words of disgust towards the coaches or players.

Not until I was out of school and would go to the games and actually sit with my mother did I actually realize how my head could spin around like the exorcism and my eyes shoot flames. I remember my mom saying, “Oh honey just ignore them, we have listened to it for years”…Ummm, WTH Mom! You must know first and foremost that I was born with zero filter, am very passionate and outspoken especially when it involves those who I love unconditionally and I happen to know a thing or two about sports. When I say that I made the eyebrows of grown men raise up with my words more than a few times I am being honest.

Not only do parents and fans alike belittle and scream at the coaches, they do it to the players as well. So fast forward to retirement for my dad and sitting in the stands watching my son, his grandson on the field. Yes, I am a mom, I think my son is AWESOME, but it really is true. He is an extremely gifted athlete on the football field and wrestling mat. He started varsity in both sports as a freshman and currently holds the record for rushing yards in a game at our high school…he recently set that record at 367 yards in a game and then destroyed his own record this past Friday night rushing for 507 yards. He also holds the record for most rushing touchdowns in a season at 28. He also holds the record for most yards in a season at 2235 and we still have 1 regular season game to go and playoffs. He is also a state wrestling champion so there is that as well (big smile).

So, back to my story… Payton’s freshman year he is killing the running game and of course looks amazing (I am a super proud mom if you couldn’t tell). All of the sudden, a parent behind us screams, “Put in fresh legs coach”! It was immediately clear where I got the exorcism skills as my dad and I in perfect synchronization, our heads on exorcism swivel, shot flames out of our eyeballs at lightning speed. Of course, and I can promise you this, the ones who scream and yell the most and the loudest are the parents of kids standing on the sidelines or those parents who never succeeded at athletics themselves.

My immediate need to form tackle this parent was very present and I am not sure where I found the restraint to be still AND quiet but I didn’t have to say a word because the other parents quickly put that parent in their place. When you have a village, you don’t have to voice your opinions at times because people who love you and your kids will take care of the idiots for you. But I can assure you, as I sat there I was making up several new cuss words to obliterate this person with and I didn’t have one fingernail left by the end of the game!

Most recently, a few games in to this season a parent said it would be nice to see pictures in the paper of someone other than my son. Believe it or not, she said it to me…straight to my face…which I can totally respect the size of her balls. I sat for a moment pondering my response, centering my G so to speak, and mentally telling myself to choose my words wisely. Why? I have no clue because my jazzy mouth usually has a mind of its own. However, my son is extremely humble and NEVER asks or even seeks the attention he receives. He never takes the glory for his accomplishments, instead giving the props to his O-Line. So, taking my sons lead, my response to her was that we have never asked the newspaper to focus on him, take pictures of him, write articles about him etc. I then turned around and took a few deep breaths.

Of course, at this point she was embarrassed I suppose and made the mistake of again opening her mouth to say she just thought other kids should get some glory as well. As I turned around, Lord Jesus take the wheel, I looked her in the face and told her the following. My son has lived and breathed football since he started playing at the age of 6. He has attended every camp, he has never missed a game, he has been to every single off season and summer workout, he has given up a month out of each summer to work with a personal trainer to improve his skills…all this while having such severe asthma that you can see him physically struggle for breath on the football field and at the age of 17 still takes daily/nightly breathing treatments. When she can tell me her son has sacrificed the same amount we can have a civil conversation.

Not only was she speechless, she now goes out of her way to say hello and speak to me. My point of this entire article is that we as parents should have more respect for those who give their time to coach our kids…to the kids who live and breathe the game and give 110% every single day. I, being the sassy, but passionate mom I am cheering for everyone on the field…including the coaches. You will rarely hear me speak against them out loud even when I happen to disagree with their play calling. And I can promise you that when someone other than my son has the ball and/or scores a touchdown I am screaming and cheering just as loud for them.

After each and every game I hug and kiss my son and his wrecking crew. I hug the coaches for believing in my son and trusting him to be a leader on the field. But let me just say, I am more proud of the person my son is off the field. As parents we don’t understand that this is about our kids…NOT us. In an age of “participation trophies” people have forgotten that earning your spot is the only way our kids learn how to work hard and dig deep for what THEY want. People think if they simply “show up” they have earned recognition and entitlement.

In life, in sports, in careers, in marriages, showing up is only the first step in the journey. You have to commit to work hard, have determination, be humble, be respectful, and most importantly work your way up the ladder. Nothing worth having comes easy…Life is about effort, humility, respect. So, instead of criticizing the coaches and players, it might be a good idea to look inside yourself and your kids and see what kind of effort, humility and respect they are putting forth. It’s starts at home people.

Until next time…

[si-contact-form form=’3′]