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By Tatiauna Miller

I’m an equal opportunity dater. I date all races, I don’t discriminate. Why not cast a wider net when there are so many fish in the sea. I won’t deny that dating interracial can be full of awkward social moments, but I’m not afraid of a challenge. I think dating interracially has allowed me to learn a lot about cultures that I would have never heard of and has given me an appreciation of my own culture as well. It’s also allowed me to see that we may have differences but we are all similar.

I’m so nervous when I meet someone’s family. I always wonder if they’ve given the folks a heads up, “Hey Mom and Dad, I’m dating a black girl!” I can’t tell you how many surprised parents I’ve met and on the receiving end of the ole “Oh, you’re not what I expected” conversation. Surprise, your son has jungle fever and you know what they say about what happens once you go black? Forget it, he’s ruined and expect to have a passel of little crinkly haired grandbabies in the near future. So let’s talk about the crinkly haired babies for a minute.

Now if you’re going to procreate with a person that has a different texture of hair than you, can you please not be clueless when your child has “willful” hair? You need to google some YouTube videos and phone a black friend, please don’t have your child looking like a troll doll. It’s not cute at all. But this is not just on the woman either, the Dad’s need to remind Karen that little Tiffany’s hair is jacked up and she needs to go round to Big mamma’s house to get that shit fixed.

I’m always surprised at the people that date interracially. I’ve been hit on by a white man in Alabama driving a truck that looked like it rolled off the Dukes of Hazard movie. I ain’t gonna lie, he was Country Boy fine, but still it was very unexpected. I’m sure I surprise people all the time, especially when they see that my daughter has Asian features. I get questions about dating Asian men all time, people are always perplexed on how it happened? They ask me like it’s some scientific experiment or something. I mean shit why not date an Asian guy? Black women like Asian food and Asian hair and Asian dudes like HipHop and Jordans why shouldn’t we link up. But all jokes aside, I usually will give a guy a chance as long as he’s respectful and makes me smile. That’s how I met my daughter’s dad, he offered me a drink and batted his eyelashes at me and the rest is history.

Cultural differences can be exciting but they can kill a budding interracial romance, especially if both parties aren’t willing to try new things. You have to learn to be respectful of that person’s cultural makeup. Respect their religion; you can’t be acting a fool in people’s place of worship. Respect their traditions; don’t be shocked and appalled when you see something new. Respect their food; please don’t spit someone’s food out, if you don’t like it. Respect the family; please act like you have home training. These should be common sense for any person period, but we all know there are people out there that ruin things for everyone.

Finally, when you and your “Swirl partner” are out running the streets, people will throw some disgruntled and sometimes shocked looks. As a black woman that dated an Asian guy I would get the mean stares from the Asian ladies and then I get the “My sister” conversation from the black guys. The “My sister, why are you dating this Chinese guy?” always made me laugh! It’s ok for a black guy to date interracially but when a black female does it I need to be questioned? Man, get the hell out my face with that nonsense. I date whomever I feel like dating. I’m like a dating gangster, breaking hearts and breaking rules! I’m free to run the streets and wiggle my eyelashes and hips at whomever tickles Tati’s world.

Thanks again for giving me your time! Have a beautiful day, laugh more, live more and love more.

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