By Tatiauna Miller

There is a double standard out in the world and single dads are getting all the glory. How come people Ooh and Aah over single dads doing the exact same thing that single moms do? Why are single dads deemed more “suitable/attractive” than single moms? I don’t get why people need extra credit for doing what “They Supposed to do” (in my Chris Rock Voice)!

How come when people hear about a single dad, they say “oh how sweet” and “poor guy, has to take care of the children all by himself”. The man automatically earns sympathy from the listener and he’s now a victim of his circumstance and doing the impossible of raising kids on his own “Aye Dios Mio!” Now a single mom is often looked down upon and judged because of her single mom status. No one is giving us single moms a pat on the back and a pep talk as we walk through the grocery store.

Recently in the office I heard someone talking about their boss having to stay home and take care of his sick kids because the wife had an appointment. Upon hearing that tidbit a lady in the office said “Ohhhh he’s the best dad!” Like WTF really who else was going to stay home with them? Now if this was the wife, no one would’ve said shit. Also, another matter single moms have to deal with; taking time off from work for to be with their sick kids. I knew a single mom that had to take a large amount of time off for her sick child and ended up being reprimanded and ultimately let go for it but a single dad gets “Carte Blanche” on leave just because he’s a dude.

How come single dads are automatically considered a valuable mate and partner but single moms are on the bottom of the dating pool? I think this is all women’s fault. For some reason women elevate single dads because, we were taught to find it attractive when the man can prove he’s a good dad. That makes him essentially a good mate right? I don’t think so, just because you’re good with your own kids doesn’t mean you’re a good with relationships. I had a woman tell me “Girl, you should date him. He’s a single dad and he’s really great with his kids!” Like how do you know he’s great with kids? Because he takes them to soccer practice? Like so does just a million other parents, how come they’re regular but this guy’s great? Next time someone tells me something like that I’m going to start naming an infamous father figure, like the DC Sniper to just prove a point. The DC Sniper, John Allen Muhammad spent a lot of time with his girlfriend’s son Lee Boyd Malvo. He taught him how to shoot and took him on missions, does that make him a great father figure?

Growing up with a single father people always asked where my mom was. Why, do you need to know where my mom is? Do you need a good justification on why I’m living with my dad? Are you expecting a good story, some tragic circumstances? After they asked me where she was, people always wanted to know why I didn’t live with my mom. Again, why should that even matter who I chose to live with when I was a child?

When my dad used to do my hair women would freak out! It was like their ovaries blew up all over the place? Like why is that amazing? People need to adapt to their circumstances and you should make sure your child is clean and their hair looks nice. Single moms don’t get praised for trimming their son’s hair or making sure he knows how to pee standing up. Teaching a little boy how to pee standing up when you don’t have the same body parts as him, is nothing short of amazing. Talk about adaptation! Single parenting is a hard and rewarding job whether male or female, you do more things with less time and less help. I think people should spend less time judging these parents and realize that this is what they are supposed to be doing, taking care of their kids.

Thanks for giving me your time! Have a beautiful day, laugh more and live more!

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