By Tatiauna Miller

Welcome to my world! This is where I have the pleasure of discussing whatever the hell I want! This may not be the place for intelligent and thought provoking discussion on this week’s current events or healthy food recipes, but this is everything in between. Now, just because I’m not discussing the most recent tragedy or jaw dropping news story doesn’t mean I’m not aware or affected. I just choose not to discuss it here. Alright, now that my somewhat low key disclaimer is out of the way, I do appreciate your questions and or comments. Here’s some background on me: I’m a single parent with a 7 year old daughter (she’s adorable…no really she is). I live in the DMV area (DC, MD, and VA) and I work for the government aka Swamp! I love to laugh, dance, read, drive fast and talk shit…

Now on to this week’s topic: Trends

How many of you follow trends? Do you care what’s trending on social media? Who’s buying this or talking about that? Are you running to the nearest salon or barbershop to get the newest hipster haircut or the new Lob for the fall (long bob)? What about fitness trends? Are you drinking the newest skinny tea or trying the latest gym workouts? I hate trends! I feel like someone is trying to control me or make me like things I wouldn’t normally like. For me, this goes back to school, when being part of the “in crowd” is encouraged.

So, I make a conscious choice to not be a trend chaser, I don’t like to look like everyone else, attend the same function or listen to the same music. I find joy in new discoveries and make my own observations before others have a chance to muck it up. So, let’s discuss some of the more outrageous trends: Fidget spinners! These things are getting out of hand, literally and figuratively!

I actually saw someone get a very tiny fidget spinner on a finger nail! Kids are making them out of all types of materials; slime, ice, they even have mommy baking a fidget spinner cookie! 2nd annoying trend: 90’s fashion is back, not too excited about that.

Teenagers walking around looking like an episode of Friends, it’s confusing. Overalls are back too, like every nightmare! Actually, they’ve never really gone away, I don’t get why someone would want to be trapped in their pants? Lastly and the most annoying: Everyone is a personal trainer on social media. I swear someone loses a few pounds and they’ve got the answer to every weight loss problem. They used to post yummy cake and pizza photos and now they are posting inspirational messages and trying to sell me the next weight loss drink.

Deviation coming in 1, 2, 3, those weight loss drinks makes you gassy. Do you want to be Pepé Le Pew all day in the office? There was a person in my office that was on some fancy diet, he/she would pass gas everywhere, in the middle of a meeting, conversation or picking up a folder. This person had no shame and the most irritating part of it all was they NEVER said excuse me. It was like they were going to ignore the strange noises coming out of their ass, so we had to ignore it too. Ignore it my ass (no pun intended) it stunk! The smell was distracting us from working, so my coworkers and I made an anonymous complaint and we received air fresheners on all our desks. Now it smells like shitty fruit.

My opinion, trends are waste of time and money, so let’s try to not to drink the Kool -Aid and ask yourself do I really need that strapless bra that every Instagram model is advertising? Or that metal bracelet that supposed to give you energy (really)?

So, what have we learned? Mostly, that I hate a lot of things, hopefully I have a lot of “haters” in common. (I love dad jokes!)

Thanks for giving me your time! Have a beautiful day, laugh more and live more…
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