By Tatiauna Miller

I heard a rumor that single friends give bad relationship advice, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that was probably started by a cheating ex. Of course, single friends can give good advice! Just because the person is not in a current relationship doesn’t mean that they’ve never been in one or never been through relationship drama. Also, just because someone is in a relationship or married doesn’t mean they’re better off. Think about all those unhappily married people out there, you don’t want that type of advice! My suggestion and notice I didn’t say advice would be to speak to someone that’s mature and secure in themselves and knows their damn place.

I know we always hear the stories about someone’s jealous single friend that’s giving them bad relationship advice. The usual back story is the friend is “jealous” or wants your man/woman. For real who really wants your friends used up man or woman? I’m sure there is someone single and free of drama that you can love up on and not steal. Not to go off on a tangent about seducing someone’s significant other but why take someone from a relationship and keep them? Yes, this person is yours now but just the fact that you stole him/her from someone else makes that person not loyal. How you know they aren’t going to run off with the next person that tries to seduce them? The flip side to this is the person that did the seduction is always extra possessive and jealous because they know deep down inside how they got that person. A thief shacking up with a traitor.

How friends go wrong about giving relationship advice is they care too much. I feel like you care about your friend and you want to see them treated right but as soon as they say something negative about the person they are dating, you immediately go into battle mode. I’m always thinking in my head “Yes, that was fucked up but you know you love his stupid ass”. Who is a friend to tell someone when to go or stay in a relationship?

Yes, if the person is being physically and mental abused, but no for disagreements and if you don’t know when to leave then you are “stupid in love” but we’ve all been there. Another way a friend goes wrong is when the friend in a relationship drags them in their drama. They have the friend spying on the guy/girl or setting up elaborate schemes to catch the person doing something nefarious. As soon as the person gets caught, what are you going to say “My friend saw you!” Oh shit! Now here comes the “Your friend is jealous and doesn’t want to see you happy speech”! All of a sudden, it’s conveniently forgotten who set the scheme up in the first place and now the “helpful friend” is in trouble. Nope, keep me out of that shit. People have asked me to do stuff like that before and I make up a ton of excuses, just to get out of it. You’re not going to be mad at me for some shit you knew was already happening. No thanks!

When you’re seeking relationship, advice try to speak to someone that’s happy with themselves and comfortable with the situation they are in whether married, single, dating or whatever. Most people that are happy will want to give positive advice, thoughts and or encouragement. But I’m not talking about those Kumbaya type people either, those are the ones that say happy shit with everything. Almost like they didn’t even hear what you were saying but ready for some off the wall positive comment that doesn’t match the situation. “Hey girl, I just found out my man cheated on me!” “Ohh you know he loves you, he’s just lost”! Like what are you talking about? Lost where? Did he get lost in some chicks bed?

And maybe at the end of the day you don’t really need relationship advice because only YOU know what’s really going on in your relationship. And even if you tell both sides of the story, it’s human nature to tell the story from your point of view. So, it’s better to work it out on your own with a few vent sessions in between but don’t rely on your “Helpful friends and Cousins” to seek out trouble that might not even be there. Just man or woman up and address the situation, it will save you lots of time and worry.
Thanks for giving me your time! Have a beautiful day, laugh more and live more!

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