By Tatiauna Miller

Last week my mom and I were reminiscing about me as a child and she brought up so many strange stories about me. Now let’s be clear; I hadn’t forgotten about those moments I just didn’t think of them as being weird until recently. I know I wasn’t a bad child but I was curious and possibly fearless. I started to think about all those stories and it hit me “I did some weird, unexplainable and dumb shit as a kid”.

When I was 5 or 6 I had an obsession with certain foods, especially bread and fruit. I would eat bread and fruit all day and every day if I could. Once my family realized I was particularly fond of bread probably after 3 or 4 attempts to make a sandwich and found only the ends left. They started putting the bread on the top of the refrigerator. Now probably at 5 or 6 bread on top of the refrigerator is impossible to reach, but a short person learns the art of climbing at a young age. I climbed trees and playground equipment daily, reaching the top of refrigerator for snacks was a piece of cake.

I would do this at home all the time but I continued to fly under the radar until I went to Alabama to visit my grandma. One particular boring summer day, I was hungry like most children and I saw my grandma bought some fresh “white bread”! I think I may have asked someone for the bread and they told me to wait for lunch but I decided not to wait and made my move when the kitchen was empty. Well, as I was up there grabbing my supplies, family started coming to the kitchen. Instead of coming down and get yelled at, I stayed up there and ate my bread. Well I hadn’t realized my aunt was looking for me outside and everywhere except the kitchen, let’s just say she was worried! I see her running inside frantic, she gets on the phone and calls my mom and says “I can’t find Rashawn (my middle name)!” Hearing this I had to come clean, so I jumped down from the refrigerator with my hands full of bread and scared everyone! I still got in trouble but I remember people asking me years afterwards if I still love bread. Yes, I do!

I think I was a serial “Hide and Eat” child. When I was in Alabama again for the summer, my family received a trash bag full of peaches. I love fruit and I love peaches. I think I had one and kept begging for more and they told me to wait till dinner. I was hungry and greedy so I decided to hunt the peaches down anyway after a few minutes of searching I found them in a closet outside of the kitchen. Well since I couldn’t walk around with illegal peaches in my hand, I decided to eat them in the closet. So I sat in the closet next to the bag of peaches, and I must’ve had about 5 or 6 of them. They were so good; I think I ate till my mouth was itchy. Of course, I was discovered and this time they checked everywhere even on top of the refrigerator. I remember the door being yanked open and my aunt saying “Nooooo Rashawn! “What are you doing baby?” I wanted Peaches! I’m pretty sure I got in trouble and my stomach was jacked up the entire the night.

Do you remember sticking things up your nose when you were a kid? I do. I don’t know if I was just bored in Alabama or there were so many things to get into but I feel like I did a lot of dirt there. One evening my aunt was cleaning up behind a dresser or something and she swept a shiny object into the middle of the room. Kids are like crows, anything shiny they need to investigate. I picked up the object and it was cone shaped, possibly and end piece to a head band or something. Now for whatever reason, I thought “Hmmmm I think this was fit perfectly up my nose”. I really don’t remember why I wanted to put it up there, all I remember thinking was “I bet this will fit”. So, I put it up my nose and it fit so well, that I couldn’t get it out. Yup one phone call to my mom and a hospital trip later, I was still in trouble.
As a kid we try to imitate our parents and family members. I would always see my aunt painting her nails or shaving her legs, I figured I want to look pretty like her so I will do the same. First, I painted like my entire fingers and toes with the nail polish and then I decided to shave my legs. Big mistake! One long swipe and the skin on my chin was sliced up, I think I got in trouble then too.

I loved animals more than they loved me, as a kid I always wanted to hug someone’s pet. I may have killed a few goldfish trying to take them out the water to hold them. “Poor little guys, sorry I killed you with kindness!” With my quest for animal acceptance, I’ve been attacked by more than a few of god’s creatures. One time I tried to inspect a cat’s tongue to see why it was bumpy. Yea that didn’t go down too well.

Now that I think about it there are so many crazy young Tati stories, I almost want to apologize to my parents for the heart palpitations and premature hair loss, my bad Dad!

Thanks for giving me your time! Have a beautiful day, laugh more and live more.

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